Chapter 111: If Buddha Doesn’t Let You Cross to Nirvana, I Will Enlighten You
Atlas Studios Atlas Studios
In the evening, Wen Xinya went for a beauty SPA session at Floral Lingo Pavilion and started to prepare for that night’s birthday banquet when she got home. Grampy seemed to regard this friend with great importance since he told her to deliver a gift so seriously.
As she opened her wardrobe, her originally vacant wardrobe was filled with clothes bought by Si Yiyan that day she ran into him at Jo-ramst. Si Yiyan had bought one of almost each of the designs that flattered her. A rough calculation would add up to twenty pieces of clothing, suitable for all types of events and dress codes.
Wen Xinya picked a beige dress that flattered her slim waist. Just as she was about to take it out, she could not help but recall that one time Si Yiyan personally helped her put on that pair of silver-gray shoes. Ever since she brought it back, she had not worn it even once.
Wen Xinya changed her mind and picked another evening gown.
The material of the gown was made of gold and silver velvet threads and carried the honor and respect represented by the gold color, as well as the luxury symbolized by the silver color. They were mixed together and neutralized to avoid being too eye-catching.
Wen Xinya changed into the gown, put on that pair of shoes, and took a few gentle steps in front of the mirror. The gown flared out like a lotus leaf, swaying and creating calm, delicate waves over her feet, at times hiding the gems on her shoes. They were a match made in heaven.
She stared at her shoes, slightly fascinated, as if she could still feel his gentle and skinny hand holding her ankle and shuddered.
Deep in these thoughts, her phone rang.
Wen Xinya quickly got rid of her train of thought and picked up without looking at the number. “Hello, I’m Wen Xinya!”
“Xinya, it’s me!” Si Yiyan’s voice traveled through the phone and reached her ear.
Wen Xinya’s heart trembled. Si Yiyan’s voice was not clear like it usually was. It had a hint of hoarseness and turbidity, revealing his exhaustion and weakness, causing her heart to tighten suddenly.
“Why are you not speaking?” Si Yiyan asked in a low tone.
His lowered tone sounds even more dull, resembling one of a patient who had been ill for a long time, nowhere as clear as his usual voice. “Where are you now? Why did you suddenly disappear?”
Her tone was questioning. Although he did save her when she was kidnapped, she could not help the fostering suspicion growing in her heart. He should know… after he left for these few days, she had guessed the reason for his departure.
“I have some things to take care of. Most likely, I won’t be in the country for a while, and I won’t be able to keep in contact with you either.” Si Yiyan’s voice was hoarse, sounding weak, sincere, yet guilty at the same time.
Wen Xinya’s grip on the phone tightened. “Si Yiyan, did something happen to you?”
Previously, she had already guessed that he was involved in the black society, and his words just confirmed her suspicions. Furthermore… now that technology has advanced so much, international calls were very common, yet he said that they should avoid contact for some time!
Besides the dangers that Si Yiyan was in, she could not think of anything else that might cause them to avoid contact!
But once the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted. Since he did not mention anything about that matter, she took the initiative to ask. However, it came off sounding as if she was interfering with his life. If he did not want to answer, things would definitely become awkward between them. Thinking so, she quickly changed the topic. “Si Yiyan, thank you for saving me when I got kidnapped!”
Si Yiyan replied, “Your kidnapping incident was a premeditated, planned act. I guess that Ning Shuqian wasn’t involved, but I have yet to find any useful information regarding it.”
After saying that, he proceeded to tell her about what Gu Yuehan found out about Fu Tianyang.
Wen Xinya suppressed the anger and hatred boiling within and said in a low voice, “These useless people hurt the innocent just to achieve their goals.”
Si Yiyan eloquently replied, “Since you are familiar with the people you are dealing with, from now on, you have to be more careful. You should not do anything similar to the Black Sunday project again. If you ever get linked to that place, you won’t be able to clear your name and defend yourself no matter what you do. However, you don’t have to be too nervous, you still hold the position of the young mistress of the Wen Family, as well as Old Mr. Mo’s granddaughter. They won’t dare do their worst.”
“I know what I am doing, you don’t have to worry.” The Wen Family had wealth and power, and although Grampy was only a scholar, the people who could truly change the words were educated. This had been proven by the history of burning and ruining of books in the past.
Even though Grampy died and the Wen Family gave up on her in her previous life, Ning Shuqian did not dare to kill her directly. She let the Wen Family abandon her completely before she dared to kill her.
There was a long stretch of silence before he spoke. “Wen Xinya, can you read the Guanyin Heart Sutra for me?”
Wen Xinya was shocked, not expecting such a request from Si Yiyan. “Sure!”
“Shariputra… form does not differ from emptiness, emptiness does not differ from form. That which is form is emptiness, that which is emptiness is form… without any hindrance, no fear exists. Far apart from every perverted view, one dwells in Nirvana.”
Guanyin Heart Sutra provided teachings about enlightenment and educated people on desires being illusory, and that only by removing all worry and concern from your heart would you be able to rid yourself of fear and panic and truly feel at peace and happy. She could not understand why Si Yiyan would suddenly want to hear this piece.
After one article, Si Yiyan said in a hoarse voice, “Wen Xinya, I believe in Buddhism, Prajna Sutra, and the enlightening of people. In the past seven years, I always listened to this Sutra to warn myself that no matter what I do, I have to retain this consciousness. That way, I can be liberated.”
Wen Xinya stayed silent, not knowing how to reply, and not knowing what he might say next.
Si Yiyan continued, “Wen Xinya, it’s difficult for me to attain enlightenment in this life! Because of my desires, I am hindered, and these emotions will become obsessions, tangible and chaining me. Once obsessions are formed, so will the desire to act upon these desires.”
His voice got huskier, like the sound of an untuned instrument. She was no fool, how could she not understand him? He was trying to say that she was the root of his desires, that there were obstacles in front of him. Whatever he was about to do would betray his beliefs in the words of the Heart Sutra.
He used this manner to answer the awkward question she had blurted out earlier. “If Buddha doesn’t let you cross to Nirvana, I will help you achieve enlightenment.”
Such ambiguous words stunned Wen Xinya, and she did not know how to react. She thought that she would be upset and regretful after hearing his words, but miraculously, she felt peaceful and joyful.
“Alright! From now on I will trust you!” Si Yiyan’s hoarse voice carried a hint of joy, and his dull voice sounded a lot clearer.
A strange feeling rose in Wen Xinya’s heart. Buddhism was a belief, but Si Yiyan had his faith in her… Did that mean that she was his religion now? Her heart shrank a bit, and she could not help but think of the heartbreaking love in her previous life. When had she not thought of him as her faith? In the end, she lost her faith in him and no longer saw meaning or hope in life.